entry 2: ‘Big Foot Hunt’
We had all fallen asleep.But we woke to a quiet that made us all uneasy. Tumbleweed hunted for his mongoose full of weed, Graynt was staring off into the forest muttering something about tobacco to an imaginary duck named ‘Jeff’, when a couple a punx we hadn’t seen before emerged from the forest. Scared the shit out of us! Thought the Nazis were back for a second helping.
The one that called himself Bax was buckling his belt and offering a vial to Graynt (who without question snorted it.) Blood cakes the side of the other new punks face matting down his hair in clumpy dreads and he explains that he ‘thinks’ his name’s ‘Math’. Graynt, eyes pinned open, offers a magic brownie and a beer which math promptly devours in the blink of an eye.
Mobilizing, we spread out into the woods, slash marks all over the trees on every side of us. As we walk, Satoshi nearly breaks his neck because of a foot shaped hole! We gather round to investigate like punk trackers, when I hear a growl that silences every last one of us.
A gnarly haired creature lurches over a fallen tree trunk, wildly swinging a heavy branch though the air at our heads!
*side note- It’s face was odd though (dirty and lumpy) but I’d be lying if it didn’t resemble ‘lost bobby’ from the missing mushroom caper a few summers back (Bobby’s been missing ever since!)
Bobby or not he was not a good will squatter! I see Dr Grove and the new dude Math get levelled by the beast and I’m convinced it can’t be human. Econ, in spite of wetting himself gets some great punches in. The creature reeled after a strange gesture from Archytech (did he offer him a smoke?!) which was when Horrow & Skelly got bad to the bone and knocked him out for good!
Everyone, catching their breaths hover over the K.O’d creature. Trece pulls back some of the tangled dreads to reveal that this is in fact lost Bobby!
Before we have the chance to grapple with this realization an Annoying Boyscout appears, waltzing into the clearing with a compass and itching at his nose. We knew we could use him to get outta here-or at least use his STUFF to do so.
He looks at us and in a cracking voice says ‘You guys really can’t go around beating people up, it’s not patriotic!’. Trece takes aim and sends a cowpie flying though the air (is he carrying around cowpies now or what?) and it explodes in his face! Econ secures him to a tree and he’s mumbling about us being in danger when a roar erupted from behind us!
Our jaws hit the ground when a giant 2.5 meter tall hairy looking beast pounded it’s chest jaws dripping broke through into our little clearing! That’s DEFINITELY not Bobby! Romphrey (ever the comedian in the face of danger) points rather loudly “Look at those fuckin’ tiny feet!” The creature charges, impressively quick on it’s tiny feet! Tumbleweed jumped on it’s back, Dr. Pants passed out and fell right against it’s furry belly with a crash! Beer bottles flew and we bit and clawed at the stinking flesh for our lives!
Finally a wail came from the creature as it lost it’s balance and took a massive nosedive, knocking out cold on impact.
Huffing and puffin we are catching our breathes and taking inventory when Econ comes running out from some brush. He screams ‘The scout got away!’ We rush to the spot where we left our patriotic prisoner and discover some plans drawn in the dirt and realize….
He went to get the Troop and plans to ambush us! Time to put our filthy brains together and figure out what to do next. But first a beer and a rest.
To be continued……